


McKirk Drabbles

by neko_fish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Drabble Collection, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-16 02:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11818917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_fish/pseuds/neko_fish
Summary: McKirk drabbles from Tumblr





	1. The Magic of Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> Been meaning to do this for a while now. Uploading drabbles from my Tumblr/whatever else in case I ever forget my password and/or access.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was when I thought Bronies were literal bros who watched mlp for fun.

It’s well past two in the morning and Leonard is  _still_  scowling at his PADD.

His brain hates him and his eyes are drying out but he can’t bring himself to blink in fear of passing out. Jim’s long since fallen asleep, head resting on his shoulder, and drool creating a growing dark patch on his shirt. It’s well past two in the morning and he’s got to be up in four hours for work. He hates himself more than just a little bit right now, but he hates Jim more, because as usual, this is all Jim’s fault.

\--

He doesn’t even know how the kid managed to reel him into this—watching children’s cartoons from the twenty-first century of all times. The last thing he remembers is Jim running through the door yelling how “the fun has been  _doubled_!” Then after a conversation he doesn’t remember—it probably involved a lot of protests and grumbling on his part and a lot of whining and eyelash batting on Jim’s—they started watching the show and are still watching it until now.

Half the things those ponies are doing aren’t even physically possible. And why did people ever consider it to be suitable for children? So many aspects of the show just didn’t work. The politics didn’t work. The physiology didn’t work. The physics didn’t work. Sonic Rainbooms made  _no sense_. Watching an uptight unicorn going crazy was  _creepy_. The pink one had bipolar disorder, sang all the time and appeared to be under the influence of all sorts of  _drugs_. And there was a witch doctor  _zebra_  that has a strong African-esque accent and spoke in rhymes and was a big fat pony  _stereotype_.

It’s terrible and he would never let his daughter watch something like this—and yet here  _he_  is, still watching the damn show like a five year old. According to Jim, nothing’s quite as enjoyable as watching Leonard grumble about everything wrong about the show.

(“That’s the most ineffective thing she could’ve done! It’s just five factorials! Stop singing and just redo the goddamn spell! Why’s there so much singing in this episode!? Her whole family forgot her!? This entire episode’s just singing! What is this? A Doctor Seuss movie?—God, I hate myself so much for being able to make that reference. Stop laughing, Jim! Worst. Episode. Ever—no, it’s not an anti-catchphrase. Shut your mouth!”)

He gets absolutely no sleep that night.

And it’s all Jim’s fault.

\--

The next day, Leonard shows up to for his shift tired and cranky—even more so than usual. And when he gets overwhelmed with questions and concerns, before he can shut himself up, he blurts out, “ ** _Every pony needs to calm down, right now!_** ”—and then promptly wishes he could punch himself (or Jim) in the face.

–-  
  
When he gets back to his dorm after the most embarrassing shift of his life, he finds Jim grinning at him from the couch. That’s never been a sign of good news and sure as hell isn’t one now. “Hey, Bones! There’s my BBF!”

Leonard chooses to answer with an arched brow instead of words.

“Best brony forever. Apparently that’s what they used to call male pony fans back in the day,” Jim explains, his shit-eating grin never wavering. “So I heard some pony had an  _equestrian slip_  at work today?”

He doesn’t know how Jim found out but he’s not surprised. With his luck, it’s probably being broadcast on the news. “Dammit, Jim, if you make any more pony puns, I’m going to teach you an important lesson about friendship with the help of my good friend, Mr. Hypospray. Write a letter to Captain Pike about  _that,_ why don’t you?”

A second later, he wishes he just kept his big mouth shut because Jim clears his throat, trying his best not to laugh. “Bones, take down a note.” He clears his throat loudly and starts, “Dear Captain Pike, I learnt a very important lesson about  _friendship_ today…”

“Oh my god, I hate you.” Leonard grabs his bottle of bourbon and locks himself in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I finished my second to last final and decided to dig through my folder of words and I found this. I don’t remember writing this, but apparently I did. I’m going to keep going through these files because some of this stuff’s ridiculous.
> 
> Btw, Bone’s cutie mark would be a hypospray. Jim’s would be the Enterprise.


	2. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death!Drabble

It’s been three days now.

Three days since the distress signal from that mysterious ship.

Three days since its disappearance.

Three days, and he’s gotten himself locked in his room after refusing to leave the bridge for all 72 of those hours. Sitting, hunched over on his bed, Jim digs the heel of his palms into his eyes and tries to hold back the tears of exhaustion, frustration and fear. Suddenly, it’s hard. It’s too hard and he can’t handle it anymore. “Bones…what am I supposed to do? I can’t let them go through with it.”

Wiping the tears away with his sleeve, he looks over to the darkened corner where Leonard has manifested himself. When there’s nothing but silence from the man, he snaps, “Don’t just stand there! Say something! You can’t just suddenly go quiet on me!”

Hesitantly, Leonard approaches him until he’s standing next to him, looking more like a holo than a person. “Jim, I’m sorry, but they’re right. I can’t help you. I can’t fix it—not this time.”

Suddenly fearful, Jim asks with a faltering smile, “What are you talking about? You’ve always been here for me when I needed you. And I need you more than anything right now.”

“Everyone’s worried about you, Jim. What you need right now is accept the facts,” Leonard tells him.

“No,” he immediately denies. “What I need is to get your body back so we can stuff you back into it. And until then, we’re not leaving and you’re staying here with me.”

“Dammit, Jim…” Leonard mutters, more heartbroken than annoyed.

He’s having trouble breathing now. The world feels like it’s shaking and falling apart from underneath him. The tears are back. “Don’t you dare say it! The ship just disappeared for a bit! It’ll be back and we’ll get you back when it does! It’ll work out like it always does! You’re still here and you’re not dead! The dead don’t talk, Bones.”

“You saw me disappear with the ship. You watched it happen. Jim, it’s been days and even though Spock’s been trying to get me back, you and I both know that it’s probably not gonna work. You still don’t know what happened out there. What if it was something hostile? You need to get the crew out of here before anything else happens,” Leonard tells him in the softest voice he’s ever heard. It’s so uncharacteristic of the man and so sad it breaks his heart.

“But, Bones,” Jim pleads, “how can I just leave you out there in space? Out there with the stars? You’re terrified of the stars.”

Leonard heaves a sigh and crouches down to look up at him. “You have no idea, do you?”

“No idea about what?” he asks.

“I stopped being afraid of the stars a long time ago. Jim, you’ve got stars in your eyes, and I’ve been looking into them for so long now, the stars don’t scare me anymore—if anything, they’re home.”

“But they scare  _me_ ,” Jim whispers, clutching the edge of his bed tightly to stop himself from reaching out. “The stars terrify me when you’re not around, Bones. I don’t want to be up here without you. Your home is  _here_ —with  _me_.”

Letting out a soft chuckle, Leonard shakes his head. “When’d we switch roles? I’m fine, Jim. And you’re gonna be fine without me. Now, this is what’s gonna happen: Nurse Chapel’s on her way here now with a sedative; you’re gonna take it without making a fuss and get some shut eye; and when you wake up, you’re gonna give the order to go.”

He frowns. “Will you still be here if we leave?”

“Not ‘if’—‘ _when’_ ,” Leonard corrects him gently. “And I don’t know. Maybe it’d be better if I didn’t. The crew looked like they were fearing for your sanity when they saw you talking to thin air.”

“I don’t mind being insane if it means keeping you around,” he whispers as the doors open and Chapel walks in.

Despite not being heard or seen, Leonard stands up and takes a step back to give Chapel room to work.

Jim barely feels the hypospray being administered, keeping his eyes trained on the unseen man. “Please, don’t go.”

“Captain?”

He tries to call out to Leonard, but the sedative kicks in and he slumps over. It takes all the energy he has to keep his eyes open for just a minute longer.

“You’ll be fine, Jim,” Leonard tells him, fading into the shadows. “I hate using the hobgoblin’s lines, but ‘live long and prosper.’”

“Bones…” Jim thinks he says as the darkness blankets his vision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I found an old drabble on my phone and thought I’d post it


	3. Decoder Ring

“You know what, Bones?” Jim asks from the dockyard one morning.

Leonard glances over. “What, Jim?”

“My world is pretty small,” he says.

“What the hell are you talking about, Jim? You’ve got the entire universe in the palm of your hand,” Leonard says, arching his brow. “After the Enterprise gets all fixed up, you’ll be back out there, in the void, making a menace of yourself. Don’t tell me that’s not grand enough for you.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, Bones, that’s  _the_ world. And yeah, that’s huge, and we’re gonna explore every last corner of it, and it’s gonna be awesome. But  _my_ world’s small. Watch,” he holds up a ring between his thumb and index finger, “my entire world fits in here.”

Leonard watches him quizzically and waits for him to continue.

Jim holds the ring up to his eye like a miniature telescope. “There’s the Enterprise and her crew,” he says, directing the ring towards the ship. Then he swings back around to his friend. “And then there’s you. That’s it. That’s my entire world. Pretty small, isn’t it?”

“That is pretty small,” Leonard agrees.

“It’s small but precious,” Jim tells him, his eyes soft and sincere, “and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

“You know,” Leonard starts, looking out into the distance, “all this would’ve sounded a lot more meaningful if you  _weren’t_ using the child-sized plastic ring you got from your box of unnaturally colourful and artificially flavoured cereal.”

“You’re just jealous that your boring, old wheat and fiber cereal didn’t come with a free decoder ring,” Jim retorts.

Leonard rolls his eyes as he mutters, “We’ll see who’s jealous when you’re vomiting rainbows,” but there’s a smile on his lips.

Eyes lingering on his friend’s smile, Jim tucks the ring back into his pocket and grins. “You’re a terrible moment ruiner, Bones.”

“Me? You’re the one who was trying to sound deep while using a toy!”

“It’s a  _decoder ring_! It’s very serious business!”

“Serious business, my ass! It’s a plastic toy!”

“No, it’s not! C’mon, you moment ruiner, let’s see how the repairs are going.”

Jim loves his little world more than anything.


	4. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got this sudden image of Bones hanging onto Mary Poppin’s umbrella for dear life while Jim watches from the ground and laughs…I have no idea where this came from but because I can’t draw here’s a drabble!

He really should’ve known better. Playing pranks on Jim always has repercussions. And after the whole ‘numb tongue’ incident last week, it was only a matter of time before  _something_  happened. But Jim had been so passive and amiable about the whole thing that Leonard began lowering his guard, and after a few days, the whole thing just slipped his mind.

Until today.

Because at the moment, he’s floating five meters above the ground and hanging on for dear life.

Below him, Jim’s doubled over in laughter.

It had started like any normal day. There was a light drizzle outside, so he decided to bring his umbrella—only, when he opened it, it started defying gravity and floating upwards, taking him with it.

“Dammit, Jim! Get me down!” he shouts, glaring daggers at his friend.

“Don’t worry, Bones. That’s as high as it’ll get,” Jim wheezes out in between bouts of laughter. “I programmed it to take you to school!”

And so, Leonard gently drifts towards the campus while Jim strolls after him, recording him the whole way. “Why don’t you walk a little faster so I can throw up on ya?”

Jim grins. “No thanks. How’s the weather up there?”

At this point, he’s more resigned and annoyed than anything, and he would’ve flipped Jim the bird if he was brave enough to loosen his grip on the handle for even a second. “Well, right now, there seems to be scattered showers and the occasional  _shut the fuck up_ , and later, you can expect a 99% chance of  _vengeance_ with highs of minor injuries and lows of  _death_.”

“Sounds delightful. Don’t worry, you’re almost there,” Jim shouts back helpfully.

With Starfleet Academy finally in sight, Leonard figures the worst has passed, but when the umbrella begins its slow descent, the Overture from  _Mary Poppins_  starts blasting from some unseen speaker (because no matter how many centuries pass,  _Mary Poppins_  will always be a classic). It takes all of his self-control to not be impressed by all this.

The overture continues playing until he lands and closes the umbrella. Applause erupts from his newfound audience and he doesn’t have to turn around to see who’s patting him on the back. “That sucked,” he mutters.

“Really?” Jim says with a huge grin on his face. “I thought it was pretty supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”

“Funny.” Leonard turns to his friend with a sarcastic laugh. “You better run while you still can, Jim. A spoonful of sugar won’t do you any good by the time I’m through with you.”

Taking the hint, Jim kisses him on the cheek and bolts.


	5. Smooth Fucker

“Hey, Bones, look over this way for a sec,” Jim says.

Leonard furrows his brows but does as he’s told. “What?”

Blue eyes linger for a moment, assessing. “You’ve got something on your,” Jim taps on his upper lip.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Better?”

Jim shakes his head.

Leonard tries again.

“Nope. C’mere, Bones. It’s still on your lips,” Jim says, leaning in close.

He frowns. “ _Lips_? What could possibly be on my lips?”

Jim gives him a kiss and grins. “Mine.”

Realizing what’d just happened, Leonard buries his heated face in his hands and mutters, “Dammit, Jim…”

The smooth fucker.


	6. Interruption

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: The urge to interrupt him before he had finished was overwhelming

The urge to interrupt him before he had finished was overwhelming.

But then again, with Jim Kirk, that was a normal occurrence.

All Leonard ever thought about was interrupting the man before he finished his, “But it’ll be fun, Bones!” or his, “What was that? You’re volunteering to come with me? Thank you, Bones!” or especially his, “Who’s up for a little adventure?”

And there was nothing he dreaded more than, “C’mon, Bones, I know you secretly love exploring the unknown with me at three in the morning!” but not even a hand over his mouth could stop Jim from saying all those things all too cheerfully.

So of course, the  _one time_ he actually wanted Jim to finish his  _goddamn_ sentence, the man stopped half way and changed his mind.

He went so far as to get down on one knee and started to ask, “Bones, would you…” before he stood back up and shook his head with a, “never mind, it was stupid.”

“Jim, if you don’t finish that sentence, I swear on my granny’s grave…” he threatened.

“But Granny McCoy’s doing great. We just had lunch with her last week at our grad. She said I was an ‘absolute delight’ and you almost rolled your eyes into next week, remember?” Jim pointed out unhelpfully.

Leonard took a deep breath and looked up to the sky to silently ask for the patience to deal with this ridiculous creature. “I swear on my great-grandmother’s grave, Jim,” he gritted out.

Jim arched a brow. “But she was there too—”

“Dammit, Jim, just finish your stupid question so I can say yes!”

Eyes widening, a slow smile grew on Jim’s face as he got back down on his knee and took out a PADD opened to an electronic contract and asked, “Leonard McCoy, would you make me the luckiest captain in this galaxy and come explore the final frontier with me as my CMO?”


	7. Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (AU where kisses leave colours on people’s skin)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Found another drabble in my WIPs folder

“Ow, can’t you be a little gentler, Bones?” he complains loudly.

In response to his request, the hands examining his injuries methodically apply just a little more force than necessary. “Gentler? Maybe you should’ve asked the guy who punched you to be a little gentler, you infant.”

Jim squirms at the touch and retorts, “He didn't exactly give me a chance to speak, you know?”

“I think he might be onto something,” Leonard grumbles. “Dammit, Jim, hold still. I'm trying to fix your face here.”

“It must be hard to fix perfection,” Jim says lightly, kicking his legs and looking awfully pleased at his comment.

Leonard laughs, “Sure, if that's what you want to call it. It's pretty damn easy to mess up though.”

He replies, “I can’t help it if that’s what they aim for all the time.”

After another minute, he ruffles Jim’s hair and announces, “There. All done. The rest of the bruising will fade away in a few days. A little natural healing is good for the soul. _Please_ try not to get punched for the rest of the week.”

“Well, it’s not like I walk up to Cupcake asking him to fight me,” Jim retorts. He might’ve done that once or twice, but definitely not _this_ time.

Rolling his eyes and wondering not for the first time how he ended up with such a ridiculous man in his already ridiculous life, Leonard sighs, “I don’t know, Jim, maybe if you didn’t call him ‘Cupcake’ all the time, he’d be less inclined to do you bodily harm.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I bet he secretly loves the nickname. Hey, Bones, you forgot something.”

“What?”

Jim points at his cheek. “Where’s my get well kiss?”

“You’re such a child, Jim Kirk.” Leonard stifles a noise of exasperation and presses his lips against his forehead. “There you go. Now get going already. I’ve got a test to study for.”

Grinning, Jim hops off the makeshift medical bed (their kitchen counter) and gives Leonard a peck on the cheek before leaving the room with a patch of deep red on his forehead. It first started as a joke during their first year at Starfleet and carried on as a personal experiment of his when he noticed how long it took for those kisses to fade, despite them having met only mere months before.

At first, it used to be a faint red that would linger for a day or two, but as they grew closer, the red darkened and it took longer for the colour to fade. Jim came to understand that no matter how pissed off Leonard was at him, the colour and length of the mark never waned.

On the other hand, Jim’s kisses never last. They’re always gone by the time he leaves the room. It’s not that the feelings aren’t there; or, at least he’s pretty sure they’re there even if the colours aren’t (if he can’t get colour to stick onto Leonard, he’s pretty sure it’ll never stick on anyone). So what he lacks in duration and tone, he tries to make up for in frequency.

During his experimental phase, Jim made his way around the campus and was kissed on more occasion than he can be bothered to count (for science, of course). Some kisses lingered for hours, some for minutes, and some never even took colour.

None of them could ever compare to Leonard’s.

And when confronted with that fact, Leonard rolled his eyes in equal parts exasperation and embarrassment. “Take a hint, Jim.”

Ever since then, there’s only one kiss that colour’s Jim’s skin.

Rubbing the patch of red on his forehead, he smiles.

Bruises may take a while to fade, but Leonard’s kisses last longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because Bone's love is dense and compact while Jim's is light but all-encompassing


End file.
